I just realized that this blog initially was set up to function as my diary, but so far I managed three actual entries and about a million photos showing cute actors and/or animals and various tea pots. I have to change this.
So, to begin with, I am currently at a very crucial point of my life. I am about to start my Master's programme, I will go to a different uni and move house and I think a lot about my relationships (to people in general, not that I have aboyfriend or anything. Dream on...). I spend a lot of time being on my own recently and though I have gained confidence and social skills (this makes me sound like a sociopath which I am NOT, I assure you), I still feel lonely far too often and I get immensely jealous at my friends who seem to be much more lucky than me. Why is this? I love them to bits, but for some reason I can't grant them their success. I am an awful person, I know, but I can't deny these feelings anymore. I have to force myself not to panic everytime I think about my failures and hear about all the beautiful things that happen to others.
Maybe I'm just so used to feeling slightly miserable and left out, that I can't even appreaciate the good things that happen to me. Maybe I should try and appreciate the person I am, instead of the person I could be/want to be.
Yes. Good plan. Will do.
To-do-list for July:
- go for a walk/spend a lot of time outside
- play the piano
- read instead of watching YouTube videos
- call my parents regularly
- ask out the boy I fancy since last year
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