I really had the worst week. I was nothing but a bundle of nervousness and anxiety. I felt awkward and out of place in every possible way and it got worse the more I became aware of my awkward behaviour. I don't know why I can't behave like a normal human being. Why is everyone else so relaxed and cool? The worst thing is that I'm really smart and I would have a lot to say but I'm just so bloody shy. I don't easily speak in front of groups of people and so everyone thinks I'm dull and boring and weird. How come that my shyness grows worse over the years? I try to remind myself that I'm a grown-up young woman and that I have the right to be here as much as evryone else but it doesn't help. Ugh, I just want to curl up in bed and cry for the next months.